How to divvy up life? (I am asking not telling.)

Katie Sloter

Kurt Vonnegut said something to the effect of “Please notice when you are happy, so you can say to yourself ‘if this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.’”

I am happy. However, I am feeling a sense of urgency, somewhat. I cannot believe it is the second semester of this year. There is so much I want to get in this life. A year in Uganda perhaps, two in El Salvador? Medical school, maybe five or six years working for Doctors Without Borders? Don’t forget that year in Italy to learn to cook, and maybe a family and/or motorcycling from Alaska to Chile?

I know this can be a stressful time for you—second years thinking about the immediate future. First years figuring out living arrangements for next year, juggling jobs and school and trying to find a (funded!) internship. The things we are doing now are in preparation for the coming years. The people we invest in, the jobs we choose, the internships we pick—it all matters a bit more now.

Time has somehow changed from a vague concept of something untouchable and mysterious, to something becoming more formed and planned. Which is good. Sobering, but good. In the best case scenario, I get 79.9 years, the average life span for a woman in the United States. What is worthy of this time? Investing in mind, spirit, or the creative things?

As I look around at you, my lovely classmates, I am amazed at how you will use your time. How much potential, and opportunity, sits in this room? Maybe 40 desks, three or four people per desk. How many teachers, coaches, sisters, pastors, parents, friends gave encouragement? “You will be great, I just know. You can be and do whatever you want to, I just know. You, my dear, will change the world. You must know this one for yourself, I think.”

So all the connections formed, all the pathways, all the investment of time and hope, and the hopes of people you might not even intend to affect are waiting to be used. Even as time is becoming more planned, we still have the freedom of how to apply what we are learning here. There is still freedom—and freedom makes me happy, and possibility, and a continued totipotency throughout life.  If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.

In the best-case scenario, I get 57 more years. How do we use the freedom well, so at the end we have lived with honor? How do we divvy the time and investment, of all the worthy things, of every person that waits, how do we decide which ones are most important and where to direct attentions?

Too Much Thinking

Tiffany Yang

Graduate school makes me feel stupid. No, seriously. I’ve been mulling on this thought for a while and have come to the conclusion that I am unable to state many concrete “facts” because, apparently, they are not so much facts as they are highly significant statistical values/correlations/coincidences.

In undergrad we are all so focused on the next higher thing, such as graduate school, that learning is really a euphemism for cram-everything-you-think-the-teacher-is-going-to-test-on than actually retaining, understanding, and utilizing that information. That last sentence was a gross over-generalization because I’ve had many classes where I was so interested in the subject that I would willingly spend my free time learning more about it, or going to my professor’s offices and hashing out my thoughts. But, for the most part, it was really just about memorization.

I’ve found that grad school isn’t so much about memorization (though there is a fair share of that) but really more about figuring out how to think about a subject. It’s a transition time from absorbing information to integrating what you’ve learned from several fields and applying it. I was, and still am, overwhelmed when I think about the vast complexity of public health. Things are no longer linear. They are most definitely webbed. For example, obesity research can’t really be complete without considering the basic sciences, genetics, the community layout, health behavior, food policy, the food industry, media, advertising, as well as many many others. All these things interact with each other to ultimately produce the myriad of body shapes we see. There is no one thing to pin obesity on so this makes public health prevention and intervention so much more important and, yet, so much more frustrating because there is no clear-cut answer to solve this ballooning concern.

Because of these complexities, whenever I start thinking about a public health issue my brain immediately wants to shut down because I think I cannot possibly keep all those thoughts separate and yet meld them together without it all becoming a mess. I kind of feel like grad school is meant to bring you down only so that you can re-learn how to use your brain. I remember being told that graduate school teaches you how to learn whereas undergrad teaches you how to memorize. I can vouch for that statement right now. I’ve been feeling pretty dumb lately but hopefully this only means that I am on the right track.

Grading is NOT Fun

Carrie Rheingans

This past weekend, while I should have been studying for an exam I have on Wednesday and writing a paper also due on Wednesday, I spent hours upon hours grading homework and quizzes for the class I teach. It was painful – mentally and physically – since I was confined to my couch looking at the same things over and over and over again… I got through it, though. It’s a small price to pay in exchange for a tuition waiver and health insurance!

I think the teaching part of teaching is fun, but this grading is something to get used to. I like leading the class in activities, creating the prep worksheet, drawing the instructions on the board, and problem solving on my feet while in lab. Grading, on the other hand, takes a lot more time. I idiotically left it all for the weekend, instead of spreading it out over the week, so it’s definitely my fault it felt like so much. It did go pretty quickly when people got the problems correct. The most difficult part was figuring out what went wrong in the problems where students made a mistake. Now I know for next time to start earlier!

Teaching, including grading, gives me an additional sense of respect for professors. When I get a 20-pg paper assignment, I may groan, but imagine the professor who has to grade 20+ of them! I couldn’t even imagine… the lab reports I’ll be grading aren’t supposed to exceed 5 pp., and even then, some of it will be graphs of raw data, etc. Plus, the professors need to figure out a way to test for understanding, which can be very difficult in larger lecture classes.

Doctoral Qualifying Exams

Tiffany Yang

The other evening I attended a presentation put together by the Rackham Graduate School that addressed the issue of reaching candidacy. The presentation included a panel of professors and a panel of graduate students who had already achieved candidacy. They addressed a bunch of questions about communicating with your committee or mentor, the amount of time you should allocate to studying and preparing, etc.

As a Ph.D. candidate, at least the way I understand it, you take a bunch of classes, go through some research rotations and, at the end of your first year, you take the most intense written examination ever. The following year, you have an oral defense of your research proposal. If you pass, you become a candidate. If not…let’s not talk about that. No, no, I think you get a second chance. It really depends on how your department feels but after having put so much money and energy into shaping you into a proper scientist, they really don’t want you to fail. I’m sure (or hope, anyway) it would be downright embarrassing for them if you failed under their watch. I feel pretty confidant saying that if you work hard and smart, you’ll do ok. But, I am a little scared because it seems like there is a whole lot of stuff that we need to know and be able to do. It is kind of overwhelming to think about.

So, as things are progressing along the semester with classes and research, I’m starting to think a little further ahead about my qualifying exams and what to do with my summer. I’ll make sure to keep you posted!

Technicalities

Tiffany Yang

The new semester has begun and I already feel overwhelmed.

Not that I actually have much to do, but the knowledge that by this time next week I’ll be up to my ears in readings, homework, and lab is pretty daunting.

But, let’s recap last semester: 5 classes, 2 seminars, and 1 research rotation. That was a lot. But, most first years seemed to have about the same course load and we all got through it. I admit to squeezing out a few tears of frustration during some particularly stressful days, but managed to get through my classes and actually retain some information. After a few sleep-deprived weeks, I was totally ready for break and took advantage by sleeping a minimum of 12 hours, not including naps. Unlike most of my fellow classmates, I didn’t go home visit family and instead puttered around Ann Arbor sleeping and reading. Unfortunately, break was not that long and now we are all back in school a bit dazed, well fed, and not ready for the onslaught of school.

I had planned on taking it a bit easier this semester in terms of course load, but it was not to be. The thing is, I’m taking my doctoral qualifying examinations at the end of this semester and in order to “sit” for these exams, you need 2 500-level and 2 600-level courses in your department (Environmental Health Sciences for me). But, I’m also working towards a Masters in Public Health (M.P.H.) in dietetics and am also taking those courses in addition to the classes needed for my Ph.D. There are two students in the Ph.D. program who are working on becoming registered dietitians as well but they already had their M.P.H. in hand before stepping into the Ph.D. program whereas I came into the program knowing that I wanted to do a Ph.D. as well as become a registered dietitian but having none of the requirements completed so the department is helping me figure out how to juggle the various classes and requirements. The unfortunate thing about being the first person to pursue both degrees at the same time is that no one really knows how to deal with some of the issues that come up. The issue with the whole courses thing is that I technically have fulfilled the 2 500-level and 2 600-level courses needed to “sit” for my exams, but am unable to count my classes from the M.P.H. towards the requirement, forcing me to take more classes than I want to this semester.

I understand why the department doesn’t want to count two of the classes that I previously thought could be used towards the requirement, but it is still frustrating. At the same time, I’m very grateful that the department is willing to work with me in meshing the Ph.D. and dietetics programs together.

Transitioning

Tiffany Yang

I attended the Student Advocates for Nutrition (SAN) Thanksgiving dinner last week and was told that when several of them helped out at the SPH prospective student day, many of the prospective students expressed worry about transitioning into graduate school life. Now, I know that the posts on this blog from all the various students may seem like all we do are attend seminars and events and sit around and talk about public health issues (tangent: it is really weird how this can happen. I never sat around as an undergrad and chatted with classmates about peroxisomes or gap junctions. Now, I find myself in conversations about dietary guidelines and the pros and cons of vitamin supplements) but we also spend time doing other stuff.

One of my classmates, a Master’s student in Human Nutrition, does ballroom dancing and she’s in Ohio this weekend for a competition. Me, I spend a lot of time cooking and preserving. I know other people who still have time to read, travel, play sports, go to gallery openings or pursue other diversions. Still others do amazing things with their time and volunteer, work, or be a parent. One of my classmates is taking 18 credits and is a parent. Parents in school are just amazing. If she can do it, you can too.

Yeah, you may be tempted to say that it’s going to be harder just because it is graduate school but this isn’t necessarily the case. Things are a bit more intense in terms of how much you need to know, but you will be surprised at how much the grades are adjusted on exams. At this point, you are making the choice to go to graduate school to learn more, not to get more A’s. Don’t get me wrong, I still want A’s, but I’m not as concerned about spending the exponentially greater amount of time needed to get the A although I usually panic a day or two before the exam and study like mad. But those hours still don’t add up to the insane amount of studying I did as an undergrad in order to “qualify” for graduate school. Glad those crazy days are behind me. However, I have classmates who are still crazy about studying and grades. They obsess over little details in lecture notes and amp-up for exams weeks before they are slated to occur. Is this normal? Only if you think it is. It’s different for everyone.

In terms of class, classes are classes. I didn’t know anything about public health or nutrition before I started and I’m learning everything right now. It’s definitely a bit scary to jump into something that I know nothing about, but that’s what classes are for! And, incidentally, I hear that the transition from 1st year to 2nd year is much more abrupt and crazy than the transition from undergrad to grad school.

Basically, things are not going to change that much except you get to say “graduate” in front of “student” when people ask you what you’re doing with your life and you get to learn lots of really cool stuff.

Finding an Internship

As if the stress of midterms weren’t enough (it’s the middle of a rather disheartening 7-week season with 1-2 tests per week), it’s time to start looking for my summer internship.  The department of epidemiology requires completion of an internship to earn your Master’s Degree, and the great internship opportunities, especially those abroad, were one of the reasons that I came to UM.  One of the hardest aspects is choosing a realistic project – everyone wants to save the world, but there’s only so much that you can do in a summer, and unless you plan well you run the risk of coming back with nothing.

The coursework that I’ve taken so far has helped me plan out the projects tremendously – I’m now comfortable identifying what I need to accomplish and I have some ideas as to how to go about collecting the data.  However, I’m also realizing how little I know and how much I still have to learn before being able to make any concrete plans.

One aspect that I’ve decided is that I’ll be going abroad to complete my internship (while I’d like to go abroad regardless, the international health track requires that I complete the internship in a developing county, which adds a nice level of extra motivation).  There are a few projects that I’m interested in, ranging from the effects of parasite co-infection on endemic Burkitt’s Lymphoma in Kenya to incidence of colorectal cancer in young Egyptians.  While I’m still very much in the planning process, I’m excited to get started and to being putting a project together.

Balance

Tiffany Yang

This has been on my mind since we are in the midst of midterms: keeping a “work” and life balance while in grad school. At the Rackham Graduate School as well as the School of Public Health orientations the speakers hammered in the importance of having a life. This can be hard to do when your to-do list gets longer even as you cross things off. There’s always class reading, mini-projects, assignments and various other academic distractions.

I don’t know how my fellow students are taking care of their stress (it’s not just me, right? Right?) but I try really hard to have time that’s not devoted to school. I have to constantly remind myself that being in grad school isn’t about getting the 4.0 to get somewhere. It’s about learning how to apply concepts and think critically. It’s definitely one of those struggles that I feel many students have because they’re used to measuring the amount that they know or understand by their grade. Unfortunately, many teachers also subscribe to this and so a vicious or “futile” cycle (thanks, EHS 630!) ensues. 

Anyway, back to dealing with the school and life balance. For me, there are some things that I will do no matter how busy or stressed I am such as cooking and preparing my meals. Is this time-consuming? Yes. But, I love being in the kitchen and knowing what goes into my food is very important to me. I’ll also take time out to go to the Wednesday and Saturday Ann Arbor Farmer’s Market. I could sleep in on Wednesdays until my 10am class but I’d rather be a little sleep-deprived and ensure that my fridge is stocked. Also, I indulge myself with a bagel and coffee at Zingerman’s Deli.

Dinner parties with friends also keep me sane. We’ll toss a couple of chickens on the grill, make a huge salad and crack open some (homebrew) beers. The best time for these parties is during the week so that you can totally forget about school for a few hours. 

Also, having pets. Watching my cat lounge around definitely calms me down.

What about you? Do you try to maintain a balance? What sorts of activities do you use to diffuse the stress?

School Is Hell (But It Beats Working)

Valentina Stackl

Last week I attended a lecture by HBHE professor Vic Strecher that was organized by the Public Health Student Assembly (PHSA). The title of the lecture was School is Hell (But it Beats Working), and I was prepared to learn about the negative association between stress and health. Having had Vic as a professor last semester, I should have known I wasn’t going to get a straight forward lecture on the topic. Instead of giving us the cut and dry facts about stress, he took it upon himself to give us advice like a father. Here is what he said about why students are stressed and what we can do about it:

1) Our lives are too fragmented.

2) The future is uncertain.

3) You may no longer be the smartest person because everyone in this program is smart. That’s ok.

4) Don’t feel pressure to kiss ass. If you disagree with a professor – call them on it.

5) Part of you stress is having a lack of direction. Imagine an island in your head that has your ultimate goals on it (wisdom, money, fame), and build a bridge backwards. Or, you could imagine your headstone (though that’s a bit morbid). What would it say, and what would you want people to say about you during your memorial service?

6) If you feel powerless, relate to other people. There is power in a group and it’s a good way to deal with the stressors in your environment. Embrace those that are different.

At least we’re still in school though, Vic Strecher said. In school you can complain if you are dissatisfied by the way things are run. In school you can experiment with new things. In school you can fail (which is good because that means you are experimenting). In school you can decide who you actually are. I highly suggest that everyone take a class with Vic Strecher at some point. Not only does he create awesome power point presentations and make the most uninteresting topics riveting – he truly cares about the students.